Jane the Obscure gets her own blog.
I share this begrudgingly, but one person’s truth, is the past of others or the present. This is our connection with each other, our stories, and we can’t deny it.
Letters to a friend on gender and a day off
Ah, darling. I am grateful for American holidays like 4th of july. I get a day off. Woke up early, made a frittata, went for a swim and read all day. I snuck in a ciesta too. I have been tirelessly working to pay this month’s rent, and of course shooting up to get through it. But 3 days clean now, and loving the moments when I don’t feel like I’m loosing my mind.
Mon amie, while I do like this battle of the sexes discourse you seem to engage in. I feel like you are deviating from the topic at hand, “mystery and beauty of gender identity.” I am trying to tell you what it’s like to be a trans woman and you bring it back to the penis or women’s liberation or lack of.
While I am right there with you. I am more concerned with my life, the horrible road that has been paved for me, and that I have paved for myself. How I will get out of this bad Fellini movie I find myself in, grotesque men, my caricature, distorted face when I’m high, and the abuse I have to put up with. News just came in that a beautiful Latina woman was found dead in the parking lot of a Dairy Queen. Yes a young transwoman. She was killed in the city where I was born in. I thank the day that I escaped from that cesspool they call a city in Orange County. Oh, I cry at the idea of the pain that girl must have endured, I cry everyday at the possibility that that could be my future, and to go through all of that to have the newspaper reporter, or the media in the end robb of us of our gender identity.
I am sorry but I cannot continue in this discourse with you, because it is your women’s liberation, your ideology that does not see me as a woman, so if you want to get technical about it, penis and vagina then you can keep it. Yes, I stand for women’s rights, human rights, but if you can’t stand up for trans rights then you my friend are wrong. Go and look up some of the violence trans women are subjected to, and then when you become knowledgeable about this community then we can continue our dialogue.
I love you but I’m tired. I’ve been shooting just enough to get by, make ends meet, and have this hang over my head has caused me much distress. I need to sleep now.
Jane The Obscure